If you look at our company chat channel lately, it looks like a triage unit. Between school-aged kids bringing home the plague and the start of the annual 'indoor germ-swapping season,' multiple team members have been posting out-of-office (OOO) alerts every morning.
It made me realize how fortunate I am. I checked my own history, and my mean time between failure (MTBF) regarding illness is about 1.5 to 2 years.
Now, full disclosure: I have some structural advantages. I don’t have kids (who are essentially adorable petri dishes), I work remotely, and my partner is a Registered Dietitian who makes sure our pantry isn't stocked like a frat house. But even with those firewalls in place, I attribute my streak to a strict protocol I’ve developed over the years.
Here is my personal algorithm for preventative maintenance and incident response when my immune system throws an exception.
1. The Sleep Schedule is Non-Negotiable
In my past life, I was a traveling performer and a late-night DJ. I tried sleeping in vans, green rooms, and cheap motels. I learned the hard way that sleep deprivation is the security vulnerability that lets the malware in.
I know my system. If I miss sleep, the probability of infection spikes near 100%. Now, I maintain a consistent sleep schedule with the same rigor I apply to my code formatting. If the sun is down, the screens go off, and I shut down the mental server.
2. Stop Chugging "Vitamin Sugar"
When people get sick, the first thing they grab is Orange Juice. Stop doing this.
Sure, it has Vitamin C, but a 20oz glass is packing around 60 grams of sugar. You are basically DDOS-ing your immune system. Sugar suppresses immune response for hours after ingestion. You’re throwing a party for the pathogens right when you need to be fighting them.
My rule: No added sugar. Especially in yogurt—check the label. 99% of the yogurt aisle is just melted ice cream masquerading as health food.
3. The "Pseudo" Science of Decongestants
If you are stuffed up and you grab a box of DayQuil or generic Sudafed PE off the shelf, check the active ingredients. If it says Phenylephrine, put it back. It is a placebo.
In 2004, Pfizer pushed Phenylephrine as a replacement for Pseudoephedrine to get around meth-lab regulations. The problem? It doesn't work. The FDA finally admitted this recently.
If you want actual I/O throughput in your sinuses, you have to go to the pharmacy counter, show your ID, and ask for the "D" stuff—the real Pseudoephedrine. My go-to stack is Advil Cold & Sinus. It combines Ibuprofen (easier on the liver than Acetaminophen) with the only decongestant that actually works.
4. The "Shut Up" Protocol
This is hard for some people, but if I have a sore throat or a cough, I go strictly non-verbal.
Talking exacerbates coughing. Coughing exacerbates throat irritation. Throat irritation makes you cough more. It’s an infinite loop of misery.
If you ask me a question in real life while I’m sick, I will text you the answer. I don’t whisper (which actually strains your cords more), and I definitely don’t take calls. Silence is golden; healing is quieter.
5. Quarantine and Isolation
Because I rarely get sick, I have highly tuned monitoring. I can sense a system anomaly hours before the fever hits.
The moment that flag triggers:
- I log off. If I'm at an office, I leave immediately. Don't be the hero who infects the team.
- I enter the bunker. We have a spare room that serves as a guest/craft/junk room with a Murphy bed. I pull the bed down and close the door.
I isolate myself from my partner (she doesn’t need my germs), drink water like it's my job, and consume nutrient-dense meals. Then, I binge-watch detective dramas until the system reboots.
6. Zinc and Hydration
Zinc lozenges seem to actually help. I use the Nature's Way Zinc/Elderberry ones. The theory is that zinc ions in the throat interfere with the viral replication process—preventing the "internal spread."
Pair that with gallons of water and herbal tea. No caffeine after noon, because see Rule #1: Sleep is king.
It sounds intense, but by executing this script, I can usually kick a cold in about 48 hours rather than dragging it out for two weeks. Stay healthy out there, and please, wash your hands.